Black Moon Rising - Film Review

I try to walk away from every movie with a lesson learned that I can apply to the future. Some films really make a person think, while others actively discourage it, but there's a bit of wisdom to be had with everything and this movie is certainly no exception. Of the lessons I've picked up on from here, I think the term "some things are too good to be true" perfectly sums it up.

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Where You Can Find It: I viewed this one on Amazon Video where it is available for rent/purchase.

General Information 
Black Moon Rising is an action thriller film that was released on 10 January 1986. It was directed by Harley Cokeliss with John Carpenter both executive producing and co-writing the screenplay. I was surprised to see that John Carpenter had authored the original story for this, and I think there are elements in here that reflect his overall style, however it's also clear that there were two other writers involved. The original budget for this film is unclear, however its box office returns were a meager $6.6 million, which likely wasn't enough to cover the budget. The movie has a mediocre 53 Metascore on Metacritic, as well as a slightly worse 43% Tomatometer rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

The Story

Sam Quint (played by Tommy Lee Jones) is an expert burglar that's been hired by the FBI to steal tax records belonging to the Lucky Dollar Corporation before charges are brought against the business. After getting his hands on the data disc holding the prized information, Sam barely survives a scrape with his longtime rival, Marvin Ringer (Lee Ving), and hides the stolen disc inside the prototype of an ultra-fast sports car, known as the "Black Moon," which he finds at a roadside gas station. When Sam goes to retrieve the disc later, the car is stolen by elite car thief, Nina (Linda Hamilton), who takes the prototype to the Ryland Towers, which is secretly a chop shop for a crime syndicate. With the clock ticking, Sam will have to break into the Ryland Towers and evade the guards and Marvin before the FBI become impatient.

The initial five minutes of this film show promise as we see Sam's mettle put to the test during a gas station stickup, with the following infiltration of the Lucky Dollar Corporation looking pretty fun. The early introduction of Marvin as a rival that knows Sam is interesting too, but we never get much context on how the two know each other. After that last ten minutes, the plot completely falls apart as we see minimal character development and a needlessly convoluted story-line. The Black Moon is only peripherally involved in the main story as that just happens to be what the data disc is kept in, and I began to wonder if there was some product placement or studio interference that forced the car to be in the film. I questioned this as once the car is stolen, Sam becomes obsessed with stealing the car back instead of simply retrieving the data disc he hid in it.

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Sam drinking gas station coffee is the best part of this film

Sam isn't the only one that behaves irrationally though. The actual owners of the Black Moon obviously want to get the car back, but when they try to retrieve it on their own, one of their associates dies in hilarious fashion. The car thieves at Ryland Towers are equally befuddling as they are fully aware Sam and the owners are on to them, but never go out of their way to hinder either party during the film until Sam begins trying to break in. Even the inevitable romantic relationship between Sam and Nina is nonsensical as Nina and Sam give no indication that they're into each other, and this indifference is choreographed so poorly that my viewing party all assumed Nina was leading Sam into a trap right before they had sex. 

Special Effects/Atmosphere

For a film with the name of a car in its title, the Black Moon is pretty ugly looking and doesn't get much use in the second half of the film, with the exception of an extremely over-the-top moment that may have inspired the entire Fast and the Furious franchise decades later. Similarly, other tech is kind of absurd like some of Sam's gadgets that don't look remotely real. One final element that really stood out was the Ryland Towers' ventilation ducts which are massive to the point of where they could be mistaken for elevator shafts.

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I like the idea of Vin Diesel taking notes based on this film

As an action movie, the fighting sequences are generally okay, although it's glaringly obvious when Tommy Lee Jones' stunt double is onscreen as the two look nothing alike. Linda Hamilton's wigs are also distractedly unnerving as they don't look remotely real, while I questioned the costume design of Sam at certain points. The film takes place across the span of roughly a week, but I swear Sam changes outfits maybe once (near the end). In regards to music, I generally am biased towards the 1980s, but I found all of the background music to be downright bad.

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Uh...Ms. Hamilton? Some strange creature seems to have attached itself to your skull

The Acting

There are rumors that Tommy Lee Jones was struggling with alcoholism during the production of this film and his acting in this generally supports these rumors. The further the film's runtime goes, the more and more he looks like he's being held against his will. I may not have liked Raw Deal all that much, as it was a fairly bland action movie, but something that really helped that movie was Arnold Schwarzenegger's charisma. Tommy Lee Jones has none of that, and his disposition appears infectious as Linda Hamilton is just as bad.

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Tommy Lee Jones and Hamilton look a little dead on the inside whenever they share the screen

Hamilton doesn't do all that much in this film, but her chemistry with Tommy Lee Jones is awful, and she looks repulsed at the idea of even interacting with his character through the film, which grossly hurts any romantic encounters their characters have. Much of the supporting cast is poorly utilized as Lee Ving never gets enough screen time to convey much and the actors playing the owners of the Black Moon lack any distinctive traits whatsoever. 

The Best of the Best: The opening scene at the gas station.

The Worst of the Worst: The black void that consists of Hamilton's and Tommy Lee Jones' chemistry onscreen.

Calhooey Score: 3/10 - Bad

Would I Recommend?

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Looks like roadkill to me

There is a possibility that Black Moon Rising could be fun as a so-bad-it's-good kind of movie, however your mileage may vary there. It fails across the board as an action movie and currently stands as the worst film I've ever seen Tommy Lee Jones in. Despite this supposedly being a car-focused film, I would discourage car fans watching this as there's not enough substance to satisfy. The same would apply to action movie fans as there's not much in terms of explosions/shooting/punching. If this is free on Amazon Prime, and you happen to be very drunk with friends, this may just be for you.

Spoiler Comments

• Why did Marvin let Sam live at the gas station? He didn't escape, right?
  
• Ryland's evil henchman with the slicked-back hair looked like a reject from American Psycho.
• I kept thinking he wanted to tell people about Huey Lewis and the News in every scene he was in.
• Watching Ryland's goons watch Sam put his hands on his hips and visually scold them through their surveillance camera was hilarious.
• Why didn't Sam try just talking to Ryland first, about getting the data disc? I get that Ryland might say "no," but they're both criminals and Ryland has no use for the disc. It would've been a lot easier than trying to steal the Black Moon.
• Even if that didn't work, couldn't paying off one of Ryland's goons (or convincing Nina) been a better move than what happened? All I'm saying is that Sam is a terrible thief.
• I don't mean to offend anyone, but there was something seriously wrong with Tommy Lee Jones' eyebrows in this film. The man desperately needs tweezers.
• Let that be a lesson to you, guys. When picking up women, don't actually talk to them. Just wait outside in the parking lot and attempt to hitchhike 
• Why did the owners not report Ryland to the police when they watched their friend get systematically run over and then scooped up by a bulldozer?
• Also, that was probably one of the funniest things I've seen in months.
• How did Marvin know which floor to await Sam when Sam drove Black Moon into the second tower?
• Also, were the FBI agents just calmly watching from the shadows? What the hell?

References

(1)Black Moon Rising. (n.d.). Black Moon Rising film image. IMDB. Retrieved from: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090735/.

(2) Lewis, P. (2019, May 11). Sam drinking coffee image. Rewind. Retrieved from: www.dvdcompare.net/review.php?rid=5813.

(3) Kryzx. (2015, August 28). Black Moon driving through a building gif. Gfycat. Retrieved from: https://gfycat.com/freeseveralghostshrimp-black-moon-rising-fast-and-furious.

(4) The Entertainment Factor. (n.d.). Linda Hamilton wig image. Pinterest. Retrieved from: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/607704543452629269/.

(5) Lewis, P. (2019, May 11). Tommy Lee Jones and Linda Hamilton image. Rewind. Retrieved from: www.dvdcompare.net/review.php?rid=5813.

(6) Yodaprod. (n.d.). Tommy Lee Jones driving gif. Tumblr. Retrieved from: https://yodaprod.tumblr.com/post/186104982621/embed.