Max Payne - Film Review

For some reason, my friends and I continued our self-abuse of watching awful movies and decided to throw this stinker onto the top of the pile. I'm told that video game movies are finally starting to make headway at the box office, but back in 2008 that certainly wasn't the case. We watched this fine piece of cinema on Amazon Prime, however it is also available on DVD/Blu-ray.

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General Information 
Max Payne is an action thriller movie based off the popular Max Payne video game series. It was directed by John Moore and distributed by 20th Century Fox. It hit theaters on 17 October 2008. It appears to be a vehicle for Mark Wahlberg's acting career to take off, however I'm not sure how effective this movie was in that endeavor. Despite making over twice its budget, the only notable critical reception it received was Wahlberg's nomination for the Golden Raspberry Award (he lost to Mike Myers).

Now that I think about it, I can't recall a film that Marky Mark has starred in that I actually liked (with the exception of films where he has much smaller roles like The Departed). 2008 was a very special year for Wahlberg apparently, as this was also the same year that the box office behemoth, The Happening, hit silver screens. I'm frankly torn between which of those two movies are worse as you can at least understand The Happening's awful plot, however said plot was so terrible that I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

The Story
Max Payne is an NYPD detective who has been assigned to a cold case unit for three years in which he apparently spends all of his time chasing down leads involving the case of how his wife died (I think his kid died too, but I don't think the movie ever actually clarifies this). Apparently the cold case unit has no oversight as Max can roam Manhattan and shoot/beat whomever he pleases as he looks for evidence. After three years of non-stop searching, he bumps into a random Russian woman (played by Olga Kurylenko) who really wants to jump his bones for some reason. After Max takes her back to his apartment, he immediately tells her to leave and she's then killed in an abandoned alley by CGI angels. Somehow, Max's wallet is on her and he's seemingly framed for her death although no one appears to care.

The entire movie is incredibly ambiguous to its overall plot, while no one is remotely interested in the numerous crimes/atrocities Max commits in his hunt to track down his wife's killer. The main villain of the movie (I'm not revealing due to spoilers) is so clearly the bad guy from the start that I spent most of the movie just waiting for them to make their turn from confidant to mustache-twirling mastermind. Strangely enough, Mila Kunis is also in this movie as what appears to be a Russian assassin, however her character seemingly has no impact in the film. She literally jumps into an elevator during a firefight and that's the last we see of her until the god-awful post-credits scene.

Special Effects/Atmosphere
This movie made me genuinely wonder if director John Moore had ever visited New York City as this this movie presents what might just be the most deserted version of Manhattan I've ever seen. The subways are devoid of people while the alleys are noticeably large and empty. From a cinematography and direction level, it's clear that they wanted to make this a noire thriller film, but the awful acting and atrocious story kind of ruins this. The drained color filter over most scenes made me think of movies like Sin City, but it wasn't done nearly as well as Robert Rodriguez's stylish outing.

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This pretty much sums up the movie and its plot: circular, confusing, and too much grainy filter

The action sequences (which the video game is most famous for), are strangely lackluster, which is probably due to the game's PG-13 rating. Most shootouts were pretty minimal, while most were pretty hilarious as Max shoots people before he sees them in numerous parts of the movie. I guess we're assuming that these guys are all bad guys, however they're dead before they even know what's going on. I get that Max is a hard-boiled cop, but he's clearly a menace to society by the end of the film.

The Acting
Mark Wahlberg must've really wanted that Golden Raspberry as his acting was more wooden than an oak tree. He shows the bare minimum of emotion throughout the movie, which I guess is supposed to make him come off as a badass. The only time he tries to act is when he gets hooked on a weird drug near the end of the film.

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Earn that paycheck, Marky Mark!

As mentioned earlier, Mila Kunis is in this movie although her performance is about on par with Wahlberg's. She totes around a submachine gun throughout the movie so that viewers are reminded that she's dangerous, however she looks and acts like a child and I kept waiting for the rest of the gang from That 70's Show to pop up and drag her back to Point Place.

The Best of the Best: Max Payne instantly drying, after swimming through a frozen Hudson River, purely from getting high. Who knew illegal street drugs had so many extra uses!

The Worst of the Worst: The NYPD's apparent lack of interest in letting Max Payne wreak havoc throughout Manhattan unchecked.

Would I Recommend?

As far as bad movies go, this one just barely hits the mark (see what I did there!) of being so bad it's good, but I'd recommend boozing it up a bit before pressing play on this one. It's entirely forgettable but good for laughing at with friends.

-------------------------------------------------Spoiler Comments-----------------------------------------------------

• These guys honestly thought they'd get a sequel with that post-credits scene...
• As soon as Beau Bridges appeared on-screen he may as well have lit up a neon sign that said "hey, I'm the bad guy!"
• Speaking of Bridges, I bet he regretted not waiting at the dock by the Hudson River for just a few more seconds since Max literally swam back to where he was chased from.
• Oh yeah, Chris O'Donnell was in this movie too. Me just remembering this should be a sign that his performance wasn't much better than anyone else's.

----------------------------------------------------References--------------------------------------------------

(1) Wikipedia. (n.d.). Max Payne film cover image. Retrieved from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Payne_(film).  

(2) Cheang, M. (2015, August 20). Whalberg's eyes gif. The Star. Retrieved from: https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/entertainment/2015/08/20/will-there-ever-be-a-good-videogame-movie. 

(3) Gifer. (n.d.). Max Payne yelling gif. Retrieved from: https://gifer.com/en/T5x.