Droid Gunner/Cyberzone - Film Review

It's been a while since I posted a review of my bad movie group's misadventures, but I think I finally found a cinematic trainwreck that warrants enough attention for a review. You'll probably notice that this film has seemingly two different titles. I'm not sure why this is the case, but I like the idea that this movie is so chaotic in design that it doesn't even know its own name. For the purposes of this review, I'll be calling this film by "Droid Gunner," since that is what its IMDB page calls it.

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Where You Can Find It: I saw this on IMDB TV where it is available for viewing with ads.

General Information 
Droid Gunner is a science fiction action movie that was initially released on 14 November 1995 (I'm going to make the logical assumption that this was a straight to home video release). It was directed and produced by Fred Olen Ray with New Horizons Picture distributing. If you're not familiar with Ray, he's a low-budget film director on par with Hard Ticket to Hawaii's Andy Sidaris that gave us beloved films like Alienator and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. It's somewhat difficult to tell how critically or financially successful this movie was as it doesn't have much in regards to an online presence (having a second name also doesn't help). Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a Metacritic page for this one, nor a formal Rotten Tomatoes rating. With that said, IMDB has an impressive 3.7/10 score for it.

The Story
In the far future of 2077, much of the US's west coast has crumbled into the ocean and androids are now illegal. Space smuggler, Hawks (played by Matthias Hues), steals four sex androids from a space station so he can transport them to a shadowy crime syndicate operating out of the mean streets of Phoenix. Jack Ford (Marc Singer) is a burnt-out android headhunter with a troubled past who is assigned to track the four droids down by the Bennett Corporation. Jack's search will cause him to team up with the strict but sexy Beth (Rochelle Swanson), who also works for the Bennett Corporation. Together, the duo will have to navigate the city's seedy underbelly and take on a band of killers based out of an underwater city.

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Hawks may have just hit the jackpot

It becomes pretty obvious fairly quickly that this film is a blending of multiple Harrison Ford movies (Blade Runner, Star Wars, and even stylistically a bit of Raiders of the Lost Ark). To be fair, these are good films to copy and I actually admire Ray's ambitious attempt at world-building. This all falls flat though as the characters are hilariously one-note and deadpan. Arguably half of the scenes are complete (but highly enjoyable) wastes of time, while certain locations had to be re-used over and over again to accommodate the film's microscopic budget. One particularly memorable set-piece was when Jack and Beth investigate a brothel that requires Beth to go undercover as a prostitute with the only result being that Beth loses her regular clothes and must now walk around half-naked for the rest of the film.

The overall lack of characterization seems to be intentional as Ray attempts to distract viewers with ample amounts of shootouts and boobies, but I think his own creation began to get to him too as the plot becomes more and more absurd as the story continues. At some point an integral aspect of the plot goes missing, which is merely shrugged off by most of the characters with no actual explanation made as to why or how this happened. Entertainingly, this caused my fellow viewers and I to speculate that Ray was actually going to throw a surprise twist at the end of the movie with this strange omission popping up near the end. We were foolish to ever give this movie that much credit and were rewarded with a hilarious epilogue scene instead.

Special Effects/Atmosphere
As much as I can appreciate the idea of having a futuristic dystopian world with space ships, androids, and underwater cities, none of this means much if the budget is as anorexic as a runway model. The lack of funding is obvious throughout this movie as most of the special effects are either woefully dated or comically underwhelming. One of the best scenes in the movie is when Jack and Beth are attacked with an airstrike, but the "airstrike" is actually just an old news helicopter with a guy leaning out the side shooting at them with a non-automatic pistol. The fight choreography is just as absurd and characters move very slowly in combat as anyone can obviously see there wasn't much practice that went into them.

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In the future, this is what airstrikes look like

When it comes to costume/makeup design, most of the characters are obviously rip-offs of more famous fictional characters. Some of the bit parts, like the mutant/vampire stripper or the android in the opening scene of the film look pretty neat, but nearly all of the main characters look pretty cheesy. I genuinely felt bad for Rochelle Swanson, who had to walk around most of the film in a sexy hooker outfit, but Matthias Hues' costume is the best as he looks like discount Kevin Sorbo from Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.

The Acting
It's a bad sign in a film when the most motivated people in the film are the ones playing the sex androids. At first I assumed that Marc Singer and Matthias Hues were delivering deadpan lines due to the dour themes of this film, however later scenes show that nearly everyone is just going through the motions and delivering the bare minimum. This lack of emoting is honestly pretty funny to see in certain scenes. The bad movie group and I knew this was cinematic gold when Hues continued to shrug off the advances of the sex androids with little more than a look that says "I can't be bothered." Singer easily matched Hues' energy in a scene where he nonchalantly walked in on a prostitute and their client so he could scan them in mid-coitus to tell if they were androids or not.

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Who needs quality acting when you've got stellar writing like this?

The Best of the Best: The ambitious attempt at world-building.

The Worst of the Worst: The atrocious fight choreography.

Calhooey Score: 2/10 - So Bad It's Good

Would I Recommend?
5
This film definitely makes me intrigued to see what else Ray has directed

It's been a long time since I was blown away by just awful a movie can be and this was a true joy to witness in all its glory. This movie easily falls into the category of so-bad-it's-good and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a fun laugh. 
-------------------------------------------------Spoiler Comments-----------------------------------------------------
  • I love that Jack Ford carries around that android's head in what appears to be a bowling ball bag.
  • That starving child Jack came across looked very annoyed that Jack opted for a magic trick instead of giving them food.
  • I see M16s are still very popular in 2077.
    • I get that there were budgetary constraints, but why didn't they give the "airstrike" guy an M16 at least? Anything beats that pea-shooter he had.
  • How did Hawks "misplace" a sex android dressed as a nun?
  • That assassin droid was defeated with an off-balance kick to the chest. Did Humberstone buy it on sale?
  • I wish my boss's name was Chew'Bah...
  • If the airstrike was actually something worth being worried about, I would've been pissed at Jack and Beth for not warning everyone in the bar about it.
  • I'm so disappointed Hawks died. Him and Jack made the ultimate team.
----------------------------------------------------References--------------------------------------------------
(1) IMDB. (n.d.). Hard Ticket to Hawaii film image. Retrieved from: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093146/.
(2) Scheib, R. (n.d.). Hawks and the sex androids image. Moria. Retrieved from: https://www.moriareviews.com/sciencefiction/cyber-zone-droid-gunner-1995.htm.
(3) Droid Gunner. (1995). Airstrike image. Retrieved from: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/764660262950535180/863655762080432180/2021-07-11_4.png.
(4) Droid Gunner. (1995). Humberstone talking to Beth image. Retrieved from: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/764660262950535180/863638580332331028/unknown.png.
(5) Droid Gunner. (1995). Jack Ford image. Retrieved from: https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/764660262950535180/864268643868606494/2021-07-11_3.png.

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